Thank you all so much for voting last edition!
A majority of the votes were for A and 2, so our character is going to let the flames spread but attempt to retrieve the key from the stove.
After a not-so-long mental debate, I go with my first instinct of running to safety. I mean, what else am I supposed to do if there’s a raging flame that’s growing by the second and taking over the room?
On second thought, I pause. What if I need the key again for something else? Though I can’t possibly imagine what else this key could do for me, I reach a shaking hand into the heart of the flame and tug the key out. Like a switch turned off, the flames fade out quickly. They don’t leave a single trace, not one burnt-black mark, or any lasting heat.
Sadly, I can’t say the same for my hand. I clearly didn’t think enough before I reached into a thriving flame, and the little blisters popping up only make that more obvious. The key, completely unaffected, rests in my palm, cool as ever. It’s almost scary how something could suddenly appear or disappear, and leave no traces. Say, if I were to go missing in here, would people ever know? Would their memories of me be wiped? Perhaps they already forgot me the moment I set foot in this place.
Honestly, I didn’t ask to be in this weird mansion, or to be a part of whatever twisted game this is. I can’t remember doing anything wrong to someone, or mistreating them. Wait… I don’t think I remember anyone at all. Do I have any friends? My parents are blurry memories… I don’t even remember their names! Did- did I have a sister? A brother? A dog, maybe? I can’t recall a single thing!
Okay, my family and friends are one thing. Can I remember more important things? I can still speak, thankfully, and apparently I’m able to think as well. As for whom I am, I don’t even want to wonder about that anymore. I’ll leave it an unanswered question all the way until it’s absolutely necessary.
Alright, enough thinking. I don’t want to exhaust whatever sanity I have left over some existential crisis. Right now, there is one small, mildly rusted key in my hand, and I have nothing else with me. No weapons to defend myself in case of attacks, though I highly doubt anything will attack me. Yet.
Again, I’m sitting on my usual position at the kitchen counter, tossing the key around in my hands. According to all the puzzle games I’ve played in my life, this key probably won’t be useful anywhere else, since I’ve used it once already. So maybe I should throw the key out right now.
Actually, all possibilities considered, I probably shouldn’t even let it out of my sight. I never know what else the key might come in handy for. I pocket the key again, and get off the counter. This time, however, I don’t land on my feet like usual, I trip over and fall flat on my face.
I get back up rather easily, and run my hands over my face to check for blood. My hands come away perfectly clean, and I start walking again. Where am I walking to? What am I looking for? Well, I don’t know exactly either. More clues? A sign of some sort to tell me what to do next, perhaps. Though I’m going searching, I feel slightly lazy, and I’m walking slower than before. I try to walk faster, but it feels almost impossible, like my body isn’t my own. I give up and simply continue at the pace I was walking in before.
I try to look up at the ceiling to see if it held anything, had words painted on, or just anything at all. The walls are clear of even the slightest scratch on the paint, which would have disappointed me had I not seen something else. Right above my head, there were bright white letters spelling out something, and some sort of- stats below the main text. I crane my neck harder and try to read what the words say.
Player GL!TC#? What’s that supposed to mean? I wonder. I tried to figure out what the things below that said. The bold white letters neatly lined up above my head were slightly weird, if I was being honest. After a long time spent staring, I came to the conclusion that this was what they read.
“PLAYER: GL!TC#,
STRENGTHS: UNLIMITED,
WEAKNESSES: NONE,
POWER UPS: ALL EQUIPPED”
was as far as I could see. I think there were some more words, but all I could figure out beyond that was a health bar of some sort, which was down to 70.
Wait. A health bar? What does that mean? Who’s keeping track of my health? And why is it at 70? I feel fairly healthy right now, I’m pretty sure I could even run a marathon. Also, what did those other words even mean? I speak fluent English, and I knew what those words mean individually, but put together they make no sense. Power ups? What are those supposed to be?
I look up again out of curiosity, and what I see makes me blink and aggressively rub my eyes to make sure I’m not seeing thing. My 70% health bar was now up at 85%, and slowly, it was going up too. 86%, 87%, 88%, and it kept going.
I freeze. What… am I?
Author’s note: Sadly, there will be no options for voting for this chapter due to where the story is currently split. However, the voting options will be back up from the following edition onwards.
Chaos was the ideal host. If you’d call smashing china and setting off a nationwide car apocalypse as
being an ideal host, that is. We’d just entered the house, when- Boom! - And somebody was outside
fixing a flat tire. Basically, he was a good host. Served us tea and gave us tees and all. He even agreed to
come with us to annoy the heck out of Evil the Bag Lady Who Wants Doomsday (I have a friend
nicknamed Evil who’d travel all the way to Yukon just to see Chaos and say, ‘Hi! I’m Evil!’ just to watch
him soiling his godly pants- She’d like this.) and her trusty colleague, Scarlet Confidence, who (Surprise)
oversaw the power of confidence.
So why was I so glum? Because weapons. Broken weapons, to be more clear. You see, y’all remember
how I told you that Chaos caused chaos? Well, apparently, that list included weapons too. I was halfway
out before I noticed the sword that Dad had given me was broken at the hilt. Dad’s (Retch and gag.
Rinse and repeat) stick and Fortune’s dagger were out of sync too. Every time he tried to imitate a stab,
his eyeballs went funny and he started to walk with uneven steps. Gods, how we laughed. We went to
Monty’s Assorted Knives and Blades to buy pick-axes and daggers. That was where the fun started. Right
when we were in the shop, some random guy- maybe the shopkeeper, Monty or at least someone
pretending to be him- walked up to Fortune, transformed into a mammoth croc, picked a blade and
attacked, yelling, ‘DIE! FORTUNE SHOULD DIE!’
Then he stopped, confused. Probably the energy he needed for putting four words together had
overheated his brain. Whatever it is, I don’t know. Search me. Anyway, Fortune sent a blade whizzing
toward him, impaling the guy hard in the nose. He didn’t flinch- He just knocked the hard blade away
from his nose. And just like that, his nose grew back. Advancing towards the king of the Gods, he let
loose a roar and swung towards Fortune. He ducked. But Mr. Croc had been anticipating the move.
From a downswing, he changed his direction to swipe at Fortune’s neck. None of us knew what to do.
Then, Chaos came into motion. ‘No, underling!’ He roared. The weapon went flying into Chaos’ hands,
who promptly broke it. That attracted the croc’s attention. ‘No! Caladbog! My dear sword! I loved you!’
He launched himself at Chaos.
Kids, here’s some news you may want to heed: Whenever you meet Chaos, it is a good idea to run away
screaming. Run towards him screaming? Here’s a tip: Leave your friends and make a will.
Of course, either the croc had not read The Chronicles of Joy- War of Generations or he’d chosen not to
heed my suggestion. I don’t know what. ‘Oh yeah?’ Chaos said. He caught the animal in his hands, judoflipped
it and kneed it, turning its ribcage to putty (When I posted that video on Instagram, his
popularity rating went up, like, ninety-five percent. Also, I got many comments saying things like- ‘Are
you single?’ I don’t know why).
Anyway, once that jerk had died, we all picked our weapons at leisure and walked out (If you’re thinking,
There’s a thing called payment, Joy! I don’t know any payment better than indirectly saving the real
shopkeeper’s life). I felt jerky and my limbs were trembling when we walked out. Either way, this day
was going to be a day to remember.